Some disenchanted evening everything can suddenly become strange and someone you think you know becomes a total stranger. That's when you start thinking "Hi Bali" or even Singapore or Jakarta. Anywhere for that matter for there it will be better than where you are.
When that happened to me it was a devastating experience because of the enormity of the triggering incident. If I was not careful and act immediately to protect myself I would land in jail!!!
And so all hell broke loose for me leaving me feeling undoubtedly adrift and drowning in self-doubt. Not because I had much choice. I did not. There was but only one way to go and I didn't even know then whether I'd be going forward, sideways or in reverse. In hindsight, it is looking like I am locked in the last condition -- going backwards with no rear view mirror; a neck so stiff I cannot turn round to ensure my safety; and, with the motor still most definitely running. At what speed? I cannot tell because I am not sure.
Why any doubt when the situation was dire? Loyalty born of naivete brought on by a nurture pegged to filial piety. A pervasive Asian value not normally malignant in effect, but probably outmoded in a world of capitalist avarice and legally doubtful business practices.
Where modernity collides with neo-feudalism, questions of right from wrong within a given legal framework becomes the imperative of all actions, especially in matters relating to money. It is a bad situation made worse by laws adopted that are alien to local morass. Consequently, practitioners of the law and laymen alike, in this environment, view the challenge as working round the law and not to uphold justice as the law is intended to do. In my case, it took the all too real threat of jail to prompt me to do the "right" thing by me, at least. With any luck justice will be served but at the moment its looking very doubtful from where I am standing.
It is a cat and mouse game where the little flea has very little hope in hell if it clings on to either host. It is best for the flea to flee post haste. And so, the birth of my blog. A new odyssey begins adding another layer to a now much layered existence. Whither I wander I can never be sure. The only certainty is SAMSARA.
When that happened to me it was a devastating experience because of the enormity of the triggering incident. If I was not careful and act immediately to protect myself I would land in jail!!!
And so all hell broke loose for me leaving me feeling undoubtedly adrift and drowning in self-doubt. Not because I had much choice. I did not. There was but only one way to go and I didn't even know then whether I'd be going forward, sideways or in reverse. In hindsight, it is looking like I am locked in the last condition -- going backwards with no rear view mirror; a neck so stiff I cannot turn round to ensure my safety; and, with the motor still most definitely running. At what speed? I cannot tell because I am not sure.
Why any doubt when the situation was dire? Loyalty born of naivete brought on by a nurture pegged to filial piety. A pervasive Asian value not normally malignant in effect, but probably outmoded in a world of capitalist avarice and legally doubtful business practices.
Where modernity collides with neo-feudalism, questions of right from wrong within a given legal framework becomes the imperative of all actions, especially in matters relating to money. It is a bad situation made worse by laws adopted that are alien to local morass. Consequently, practitioners of the law and laymen alike, in this environment, view the challenge as working round the law and not to uphold justice as the law is intended to do. In my case, it took the all too real threat of jail to prompt me to do the "right" thing by me, at least. With any luck justice will be served but at the moment its looking very doubtful from where I am standing.
It is a cat and mouse game where the little flea has very little hope in hell if it clings on to either host. It is best for the flea to flee post haste. And so, the birth of my blog. A new odyssey begins adding another layer to a now much layered existence. Whither I wander I can never be sure. The only certainty is SAMSARA.
1 comment:
Hi Lady! Wow, that's very interesting! I just told you to create a blog, but you have done it better than me!
Warmest regards
NJ
Janda Baik
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