TITLE: THIS IS HOW WE DO IT
AUTHOR: CAROL EVANS
PUBLISHER: HUDSON STREET PRESS
Published by Penguin Group, 2006
I close the cover of this book feeling rather short-changed. Not because the book was badly written, far from it. Neither was it misleading, in fact the reverse is true. It is a treasure trove of very useful information. Is it uninteresting? I read it cover-to-cover without really having to force myself. This book is liberally dotted with beautiful anecdotes of a caring, loving, working mother who has made a success of her parenting role and her career, the two though distinctly separate is sometimes woven together in a “work-life fusion” to make for a happier working mother.
Nevertheless, as a woman and a working mother myself for most of my working years I thought that Ms Evans was a little too uncritical of her society-given lot. But before perceptions are dragged in let’s give objectivity a chance.
This book is written by a woman whose success as a marketer must come from her obvious diplomatic skills, which while empathetic is well anchored in a reality that is patiently brought round to her way of thinking. Nothing in this book can be construed as aggressively feminist. The author is not, mind you, anti-feminist. It is obvious that she believes in women’s rights and more. For, she appears to view the family unit vis-à-vis the needs of its children as almost a holy grail, even when a career woman is a single parent.
Now, why I say this is not a book for the diehard feminist is because the working mother’s double burden is not an issue, rather is a given and the book’s purpose is to help working mothers cope with the double burden so that she is not only a good mother, but maybe, more importantly, that the ‘good mother’ bit does not get in the way of her being a good employee. This is not to say that Ms Evans puts the family obligations last. Most definitely NOT!
Family obligations are it that prompted the book, mainly the result of a 2005 survey conducted by the magazine she owns and runs called “Working Mother”. The What Moms Want survey asked more than 500 working women across the USA “who cares for their kids, how much do they spend on childcare, how does having children affect their ambitions and careers?” The aim was to understand the gaps that most needed filling when it comes to the kinds of community and workplace support that working mothers need and to set the benchmark for the next 25 years of progress.
Here is a book that places the working mother on a pedestal of sorts; the wonder woman who has spun round one too many times and realize that more than super power is needed to balance the double burden.
What it tries to do is tell the reader that a mother working is, in this day and age, essential towards ensuring that the children can have most, if not all, the advantages that life has to offer: better education; nice homes; and, horizon-broadening holidays. Yet, parental and filial duties sometimes demands that mothers be away from work like when the children are unwell, or even aging parents needing care. These are the kinds of obligations that have made mothers unemployable.
On the one hand the message is, of course, targeted at women as the book itself admits: “…for all of us doing it, but want to do better. It is also for those millions of women who haven’t yet added “mother” to their resumes.” On the other, the intention is, without a doubt, to reach employers through these mothers who want to give their best to the family, company and society while at the same time living full lives. Hence the information on how and what to do to get as much support as is feasible from employers, ever mindful that most companies are still operating under Neanderthal assumptions of the male hunter-gatherer.
The thrust of the book is accommodation – push the envelope ever so gently and allow for a gradual social evolution. What it does not want to do is create the notorious sexual revolution that the 19th century blue stockinged feminists hankered after, which the 20th century feminists hoped to achieve by burning their bras as a symbol of open defiance. Now, in the 21st century and the new millennium with necessity dictating the ever-growing numbers of female workers at every level of employment and everywhere, the strategy is to make employers see that happy mothers make for excellent workers and in turn hefty profits. And, the only way to achieve this is to take cognizance of a working mother’s double burden and to lighten it substantially. So its, don’t rock the boat baby, gently does it.
To be fair the author does not ignore the need for activism. Write to your representatives when the need arises and do not wait for others to do it for you, she urges her readers. Despite this I cannot get rid of the feeling that the book is too kind of ‘feel good’ and does not properly capture the reality that can be very harsh for many working mothers, maybe not in the USA but most definitely elsewhere, especially in the developing world.
Seriously, can Malaysian women envisage a policy now of good daycare for the very young and good after-school care for the still-too-young-to-be-latchkey-children? There where Hilary Clinton is looking good to becoming the first woman US president we may safely give the push a feminine touch and get somewhere. Here, there is still much debate on whether Islam allows for a woman premier! That Muslim women can go out to work only with the express permission of their husband is a very close second. Two basic women’s rights issues generally plaguing Muslim women in far too many Muslim societies.
THIS IS HOW WE DO IT is a reference book with a pleasant difference. For us here it is a look-in on working mothers who are firmly on the path of gender enlightenment, but one with a distinctly sentimental twist: a future of "happy families" where both Mr and Mrs Baker wears pants and Master and Miss Baker are well-adjusted children rich in character moulding experiences well before they even get to university. After all, isn’t the university life’s starting line, where the scramble for survival begins?
END
AUTHOR: CAROL EVANS
PUBLISHER: HUDSON STREET PRESS
Published by Penguin Group, 2006
I close the cover of this book feeling rather short-changed. Not because the book was badly written, far from it. Neither was it misleading, in fact the reverse is true. It is a treasure trove of very useful information. Is it uninteresting? I read it cover-to-cover without really having to force myself. This book is liberally dotted with beautiful anecdotes of a caring, loving, working mother who has made a success of her parenting role and her career, the two though distinctly separate is sometimes woven together in a “work-life fusion” to make for a happier working mother.
Nevertheless, as a woman and a working mother myself for most of my working years I thought that Ms Evans was a little too uncritical of her society-given lot. But before perceptions are dragged in let’s give objectivity a chance.
This book is written by a woman whose success as a marketer must come from her obvious diplomatic skills, which while empathetic is well anchored in a reality that is patiently brought round to her way of thinking. Nothing in this book can be construed as aggressively feminist. The author is not, mind you, anti-feminist. It is obvious that she believes in women’s rights and more. For, she appears to view the family unit vis-à-vis the needs of its children as almost a holy grail, even when a career woman is a single parent.
Now, why I say this is not a book for the diehard feminist is because the working mother’s double burden is not an issue, rather is a given and the book’s purpose is to help working mothers cope with the double burden so that she is not only a good mother, but maybe, more importantly, that the ‘good mother’ bit does not get in the way of her being a good employee. This is not to say that Ms Evans puts the family obligations last. Most definitely NOT!
Family obligations are it that prompted the book, mainly the result of a 2005 survey conducted by the magazine she owns and runs called “Working Mother”. The What Moms Want survey asked more than 500 working women across the USA “who cares for their kids, how much do they spend on childcare, how does having children affect their ambitions and careers?” The aim was to understand the gaps that most needed filling when it comes to the kinds of community and workplace support that working mothers need and to set the benchmark for the next 25 years of progress.
Here is a book that places the working mother on a pedestal of sorts; the wonder woman who has spun round one too many times and realize that more than super power is needed to balance the double burden.
What it tries to do is tell the reader that a mother working is, in this day and age, essential towards ensuring that the children can have most, if not all, the advantages that life has to offer: better education; nice homes; and, horizon-broadening holidays. Yet, parental and filial duties sometimes demands that mothers be away from work like when the children are unwell, or even aging parents needing care. These are the kinds of obligations that have made mothers unemployable.
On the one hand the message is, of course, targeted at women as the book itself admits: “…for all of us doing it, but want to do better. It is also for those millions of women who haven’t yet added “mother” to their resumes.” On the other, the intention is, without a doubt, to reach employers through these mothers who want to give their best to the family, company and society while at the same time living full lives. Hence the information on how and what to do to get as much support as is feasible from employers, ever mindful that most companies are still operating under Neanderthal assumptions of the male hunter-gatherer.
The thrust of the book is accommodation – push the envelope ever so gently and allow for a gradual social evolution. What it does not want to do is create the notorious sexual revolution that the 19th century blue stockinged feminists hankered after, which the 20th century feminists hoped to achieve by burning their bras as a symbol of open defiance. Now, in the 21st century and the new millennium with necessity dictating the ever-growing numbers of female workers at every level of employment and everywhere, the strategy is to make employers see that happy mothers make for excellent workers and in turn hefty profits. And, the only way to achieve this is to take cognizance of a working mother’s double burden and to lighten it substantially. So its, don’t rock the boat baby, gently does it.
To be fair the author does not ignore the need for activism. Write to your representatives when the need arises and do not wait for others to do it for you, she urges her readers. Despite this I cannot get rid of the feeling that the book is too kind of ‘feel good’ and does not properly capture the reality that can be very harsh for many working mothers, maybe not in the USA but most definitely elsewhere, especially in the developing world.
Seriously, can Malaysian women envisage a policy now of good daycare for the very young and good after-school care for the still-too-young-to-be-latchkey-children? There where Hilary Clinton is looking good to becoming the first woman US president we may safely give the push a feminine touch and get somewhere. Here, there is still much debate on whether Islam allows for a woman premier! That Muslim women can go out to work only with the express permission of their husband is a very close second. Two basic women’s rights issues generally plaguing Muslim women in far too many Muslim societies.
THIS IS HOW WE DO IT is a reference book with a pleasant difference. For us here it is a look-in on working mothers who are firmly on the path of gender enlightenment, but one with a distinctly sentimental twist: a future of "happy families" where both Mr and Mrs Baker wears pants and Master and Miss Baker are well-adjusted children rich in character moulding experiences well before they even get to university. After all, isn’t the university life’s starting line, where the scramble for survival begins?
END
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